A bonus post this week- aren't you lucky?! Even more to read now!
Basically, every month we are supposed to write a team report on a number of different areas which we email back to our Oasis overseers in the UK, Mumbai and Chennai. I guess just so they can keep track of what we are doing and how we are getting on.
We were in a particularly creative mood when we wrote our report last night, and the result is so good that I feel it would be a shame not to publish it somewhere!
So, enjoy! Probably it is only us who find it hilariously funny, but never mind.
Seeing as this is our last monthly report we thought that we would make it a good one. Enjoy!
Living Arrangements - An Ode
Ode to Winfreds
O faithful old flat,
How wonderful thou art,
No longer termite infested,
You are close to my heart.
Together four months,
We've come a long way,
You are our home now,
But we've not long to stay.
Pest control came
And stank out the place,
But ekkballoed* the termites,
Left a large mess to face.
Beautiful on the inside,
And on the outside too.
With our new pot plants
We dearly love you.
The food is delicious
With our new menu,
The cleaner comes daily.
"Helen's underwear's on view!"
Through many a hard time,
Fires, fishnaps and all,
We've had cockroaches, cats,
And strange neighbours who call.
So we'll wish you farewell
In just twenty short days.
Will we ever again
On your soft pink walls gaze?
*Greek for to drive out with force.
Work Activites - A rap
The GAT Rap
Yo, yo, yo, it's time to go!
Get up at 8, and you're gonna be late,
Yeah.
Helen makes the toast, but we ain't got no post,
Sab reads the paper, makes us even later.
We walk and we sweat, get there drippin' wet.
"Yo, office crew, whatz up wid you?"
Big up the big G, there's no great'r than thee.
To love is my goal, yeah, it's bubblin' in ma soul.
Teachin' English to da staff, man, we 'ave a laugh!
Down a cuppa coffee, grab an auto to Balwadi.
Whoa, 50 little fellas, them screamin' loud yellers!
Head 'n' shoulders ovadose; sing it betta dan most.
Standin' in da wee while ya teachin' A-Z*.
Time for Jacob's Well, innit, we ain't got a spare minute.
English dey will speak, who's da star of da week?*
Who's dat new girl? Give us a twirl!
Yenna sapitinga?* Ate samba wid ma finga.
Back to da Well, 'cos it's so swell.
Droppin' chutes for an egg, watch out for ya head!*
Yo, wots next? Do we eva get a rest?
Hip-hop to da street, it's da office we seek.
No time in da future, gotta get on a 'puter.*
Auto brova 'ere for us 3*, yo, yo ,yo, Vyasarpadi!
We ain't got no Tamil, but get by we will,
"What's da time Mr Wolf?" dat bridges the gulf,
Yeah.
Ain't no time, mate, through da Fun Station gate,
All da gals and da boys, man, dey make a lotta noise!
At first dere were 10*, now dere's 30 of 'em.
Master's runnin' late, we're eatin' dinn'r at 8.
So much plannin' to do, but the hours are few, yeah.
Get in ya bed, it's 1am, soon we'll do it all agen!
Man we thought we could rap,
But when we read it, it was crap.*
*"It's bubbling" is a song we sometimes sing in the devotion.
*We have been doing body parts so far this month and every Wednesday we do a session on the alphabet.
*Every week we award certificates to two girls for their hardwork, neatness, attendance and general good behaviour.
*What did you eat? in Tamil.
*This week we made egg parachutes with the girls and dropped them off the roof.
*Computer.
*We have an auto driver who takes us to and from Vyasarpadi everyday.
*There were actually 6.
*Apologies for any offence caused.
Relationships with Overseers - An acrostic
B usy all the time, she always makes time for us.
E ndless questions for her that are always answered.
C atches up with us in our weekly meetings.
K indly helps us with our holiday planning.
Y ear began well with a wonderful retreat.
Wellbeing of the Team - A Limerick
There once was a girl, Helenetta,
She let all the mosquitoes get her.
Got three sores on her arm, but the doctors stayed calm,
And now she is feeling much better.
Finance - A Song
(To the tune of "1,2,3,4,5, once I caught a fish alive.")
1,2,3,4,5, this month our budget took a dive.
6,7,8,9,10, because we spent too much again.
Why did you spend it all? 'Cos we went to the shopping mall.
Why did you not save some? Because we wanted chewing gum!
The song is not true in the slightest but we couldn't think of another way to get a poem into the finance section!
Problems and Issues - A Haiku
Termites came and went,
Fruit shop is not close enough,
Black bugs in the rice.
Pets - A Shakespearean Sonnet (we added this section ourselves)
We have one tragic story here to tell,
Our dearest Archiebald has vanished now.
But there is a new kitten, all is well,
He is so cute despite his loud meow.
The bathroom now is home to a small frog,
It hides behind the toilet and is shy.
Around the corner we have found a dog,
So small and weak, we think she just might die.
The cockroaches are banished from the flat,
We pray that they will not be coming back.
The fish are doing well and growing fat
And Spurtank cleans the glass so it's not black.
So generally the pets are feeling fine
And we are proud we made this poem rhyme.
Prayer Points - A Hymn
(To the tune of "Amazing Grace.")
Our prayer points are as follows now;
We ask for energy.
Please pray that we would have good health
Throughout these last few weeks.
Thank God we had a good retreat
And trip to Bangalore.
Please pray for our vacation plans,
As they become more sure.
As we have only three weeks left,
Please pray we'll use them well.
That we will settle back at home
And of our time here tell.
We hope you enjoyed our anthology and are all well.
God bless,
Sabrina, Kandace and Helen.
