There's a shimmer on a child's hair, in the sunlight. There are rainbow colors in it, tiny, soft beams of just the same colors you can see in the dew sometimes. They're in the petals of flowers, and they're on a child's skin. Your hair is straight and dark, and your skin is very fair. I suppose you're not prettier than most children. You're just a nice-looking boy, a bit slight, well scrubbed and well mannered. All that is fine, but it's your existence I love you for, mainly. Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined. I'm about to put on imperishability.
While you read this I am imperishable, somehow more alive than I have ever been, in the strength of my youth, with dear ones beside me. You read the dreams of an anxious, fuddled old man, and I live in a light better than any dream of mine- not waiting for you, though, because I want your dear perishable self to live long and to love this poor perishable world.
I have been thinking about existence lately. In fact, I have been so full of admiration for existence that I have hardly been able to enjoy it properly.
Monday 14 December 2009
Saturday 24 October 2009
Leeland - Pure Bride
He's coming for a pure bride
He's coming for a pure bride
See Him riding in the skies!
See the fire inside His eyes!
Through the darkness His light will shine
In His glory He's lifted high!
He's coming for a pure bride
He's coming for a pure bride
The Lord is coming for His bride
Make way for the Lord
He's clothing all His children in white!
Make way for the Lord!
The Lord is coming for His bride
Make way for the Lord
He's clothing all His children in white!
Make way for the Lord!
Make way for the Lord!
What are you doing when no one is watching?
What are you doing?
Children get your hearts right. God's coming for a pure bride!
Children get your hearts right!
Monday 19 October 2009
I'm one of them
Paper thin conviction,
Turning another page,
Plotting how to build myself to be
Everything that I am not at all.
Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
And I'm growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.
I'm one of them.
Oh, why must I work so hard,
Just so I can feel like the nobles ones?
Obligations to my heart are gone,
Superficial lines explain it all.
Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
Oh, I'm growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.
(Mutemath, Pins and Needles)
Turning another page,
Plotting how to build myself to be
Everything that I am not at all.
Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
And I'm growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.
I'm one of them.
Oh, why must I work so hard,
Just so I can feel like the nobles ones?
Obligations to my heart are gone,
Superficial lines explain it all.
Sometimes I get tired of pins and needles,
Facades are a fire on the skin.
Oh, I'm growing fond of broken people,
As I see that I am one of them.
(Mutemath, Pins and Needles)
Friday 16 October 2009
Jesus Culture - Where You Go I Go
Where you go I go
What you say I say
What you pray I pray
Jesus only did what he saw you do
He would only say what he heard you speak
He would only move when he felt you lead
Following your heart, following your spirit
How could I expect to walk without you
When every move that Jesus made was in surrender
I would not begin to live without you
For you alone are worthy; you are always good
You are always good
You are always good
Always good
Always good
Though the world seems to forget
We will not forget
Who you are and what you've done for us
You are my God
Come Away
Love is the only anchor
it holds my heart
Love it is given freely
not hoarded to all
Sometimes I can't remember what life is all about
Your love reminds me: come away.
Come away with me; I'll go away with you.
Ian McIntosh, Come Away
To live two days in succession on the same spiritual plane is a tragedy.
Smith Wigglesworth
Saturday 12 September 2009
Next time, India!
India. Again. I have absolutely no idea where to begin. The original purpose of this blog was to write about the 6 months I spent in India during my gap year, and I never expected to be writing about it again 18 months later. I had no intention of returning this soon (Sabrina!) but I am so very glad I did. So this is about my month in India this summer. Back to that country that I love and hate!
It was pretty surreal to go back, with Sabrina and Helen, just like last time. India is a different world, a dream, another life, and yet it is startling how quickly we can adapt from one way of life to another. And even more so how much we forget.
We decided to fly to Mumbai and take the train down the coast to be tourists for a bit before we arrived back in Chennai. This involved three train journeys coming to a total of 44 hours, but it was fun. We stopped at Kudal (just north of Goa) to spend a day on a beautiful, deserted beach. I remember standing on the beach in the dark that evening and contemplating that we were somewhere on the Konkan coast in the middle of nowhere, a dot on the map, nothing more. The world is big! Our second stop was Alleppey in Kerala, specially to see the 'Nehru Trophy Snake Boat Race'. The boat race was... an experience! We ended up surrounded by local men, sat with our legs dangling down towards the water and a rowdy crowd pushing in behind us. We were stuck there for about 5 hours and, as Helen put it, feared for our lives!
Okay, so the main point of the visit was to go back to Chennai to see friends and work for Oasis for three weeks. Which was by far what we were the most excited about! Arriving in Chennai felt strangely like returning to an old childhood haunt, familiar in a completely foreign way. We stayed with Anju, a friend from church, while we were there. That was such a blessing: coming back to a beautiful house each evening, hanging out with Anju, being provided with delicious Indian food every day!
Swine flu was just beginning to hit India when we arrived, so obviously we were regarded as highly suspicious, coming from a country where it had already made it big. A funny thing happened in the wonderful Fruit Shop. We arrived and managed to get a table in the very crowded juice bar, ordered our drinks and started discussing swine flu. I got a bit excited and pointed out *quite* loudly that it was possible I had already had the dreaded swine flu. The place went silent. People turned around to look at us. By the time we had our drinks, the place was empty save for one other person. And it gets better! The next visit we paid to the said Fruit Shop, all of the staff were wearing face masks. Oh dear.
It was wonderful to see the Oasis staff again! And to see how the projects have progressed, particularly the work in the Vyasarpadi community that they had just started working in when we left last time. While we were there, we were running an after school club in an underprivileged government secondary school in Vyasarpadi for an hour every day. If I can describe the school for you, it is basic and bare, nothing on the walls or the floors, just desks and benches. The playground is completely flooded with green looking sewage water and people use it as a place to dump their rubbish. About 80 kids attend there, and we noticed that quite a large proportion of them had special needs and requirements but were probably not getting the attention and support they needed for them. The school had asked Oasis to come in to help improve the situation, and the after school club we did was one of the initial stages of that. Because it is a government school, we couldn't talk about Jesus, but the kids still knew we were Christians. We mostly did games and some craft activities with an educational theme, like the value of teamwork and being fit and healthy. It was quite crazy for the first few sessions (40 excitable kids in a small classroom!) but the kids were fantastic and we had a faithful translator there which really helped us out.
Similar to last time, we were also running several fun clubs in conjunction with the tuition classes for children after school. One of these was in the same community that we had lived near and worked in last time, and quite a few of the kids attending were also the same. They were very excited to see us, although a bit miffed about where we had been all this time!
The other fun club was in Vyasarpadi, in a little tin hut on the roof of one of the Oasis staff members' house. The 25 or so kids who attended here were some of the most well behaved children I have encountered in India! They are all from Hindu families and yet have started asking to be given Bibles to read and are eager to hear about Jesus. We spent some time talking with John (it is his roof the fun club is held on) and were challenged and inspired by what he and his wife are doing. Their whole attitude to life is one of radical submission to God and a desire to make Jesus known. They love the people they live and work with in a way that is visible to anyone. It really reminded me that this is the point of it all: Jesus. Life is not about comforts, achievements, family. It can only be about Him. It is so worthwhile. What higher honour is there than to tell people the gospel?
India forces you to look poverty in the face and it is difficult not to be challenged on your attitude to the poor and the way you use your wealth. In Mumbai, a waiter in a restaurant we ate in made us feel very awkward by telling us that he could never come to England because it is a rich country and he is poor. Which is true. I am rich and the reality is that a lot of the world is poor. As a Christian, I am also very aware of the clarity of the teaching in the Bible about money and wealth and our attitude to the poor. I think it is something that everyone needs to think through for themselves, but I am convinced that I do have a responsibility as a privileged westerner to provide for my brothers and sisters on the other side of the world. Can I live in luxury whilst so many have so little? Our culture is one of so much excess and unnecessary striving after stuff. I actually need very little. I don't want to just get rid of my stuff and live simply to make myself feel better, but to use the wealth I have been given to provide for those who do not have what I do. My wealth is not mine, so why treat it with such possessiveness? If I was spending another man's money, I would do so with both wisdom, so I could give a good account to him, but also generosity, because it has been given to me and is not mine. I want to stop viewing giving as a good thing I can do if I want and rather as justice being worked out. What is unfair is that I have more in the first place. I could write so much about this, but if you are interested please check out Ronald Sider's book, "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger." Very thought provoking.
It really was such a privilege to be there and to do the work we did and meet the people we met. There is something very attractive about the poor, especially the children. They are enthusiastic about anything you do. They are grateful- we brought in fruit one day for them as part of the healthy eating theme, and they were so thankful afterwards. I don't want to be naive about poverty and make is sound romantic, because it is not, yet I can't get away from the feeling that these people who have so little seem to have something the rich do not have. Maybe the poor are the rich ones among us after all. I do think that the poor are so much more open to the gospel- they have no illusions of being self-sufficient and adequate on their own. They don't need to be brought to that place of helplessness before they can acknowledge their need because they are already there. They are ready for grace. I am generalizing a lot here, but it was just an observation that struck me while I was there. I loved being with these people. I want to say that I love the poor, but do my actions say that, too? I hope they will. Faith without deeds is dead.
India was celebrating her independence on the 15th August while we were there. Our options were: 1) Stay inside and hide. 2) Change our nationality for the day. Swiss, perhaps? 3) Risk it. Celebrate with the Indians that we finally got rid of them! We went for option 3 and had a great day at the government school for their celebrations and then out and about in Chennai. It did feel a bit strange, though!
The other big festival while we were there was the Hindu celebration of their god Ganesh. They set up these big clay idols of Ganesh all over the neighbourhood, play it music, offer food to it, that kind of thing. This goes on for 10 days and them they cart off the gods and dump them in the sea. Bizarre.
A highlight was seeing one of the girls in the tailoring group we taught last time, Indira. We met up with her and went to see the hostel she lives in now. It is difficult because although we feel like we know her so well and have so much to ask her, language is a big problem! Helen and I had a laugh thinking about what it will be like when there is the new heaven and new earth. Presumably language will no longer be a barrier and we will be able to communicate freely. And we will see these friends and be able to talk to them properly for the first time. "Remember that time when we could barely talk to each other...?!" That will be immense! I can't wait.
The last thing we were doing regularly was teaching English to the teenage boys on the Oasis football team. We didn't quite know how this would go, having always taught girls in the past, but they were a fantastic group. We had such a lot of fun with them, and actually some of the best English practice for them was just talking with us. We tried to teach them some useful phrases for future employment and got in some computer skills while we were writing CVs with them. I think all of us forgot the very different backgrounds we were from and just enjoyed hanging out together while we were there. It seemed like we had known them for much longer than 3 weeks when we left.
Saying goodbye was less painful that last time, probably because now that I have been back once I feel doomed to come back again! Everyone seemed to assume that we would be returning, and although I don't know when, I am sure they are right. I'm too far gone not to go back. It is such a privilege to go. The kids, as you say goodbye, shake your hand and say, "Next time, India?", and "Don't forget me!", and other equally heart-wrenching things. How can I just go home and forget? Once again, in the words of Brooke Fraser / The Bible, "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead."
Coming back home is like stepping back in to a different world. It really is such a contrast, you cannot imagine unless you have seen it. Coming back after 6 months last time meant that all of the other thoughts and emotions were masked by the ecstasy at being home again, whereas this time I feel like there is a lot more to think through and consider. I am so aware of how quickly my time passes. We all have a tendency to immerse ourselves in our individual lives and become blind to the bigger picture. I want to be living for a future that is greater and more glorious than anything I can imagine. I want my wealth and my treasure to last. And I am so thankful that there are people living like that who remind me that is what I am aiming for.
"What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away." 1 Corinthians 7:29-31
It was pretty surreal to go back, with Sabrina and Helen, just like last time. India is a different world, a dream, another life, and yet it is startling how quickly we can adapt from one way of life to another. And even more so how much we forget.
We decided to fly to Mumbai and take the train down the coast to be tourists for a bit before we arrived back in Chennai. This involved three train journeys coming to a total of 44 hours, but it was fun. We stopped at Kudal (just north of Goa) to spend a day on a beautiful, deserted beach. I remember standing on the beach in the dark that evening and contemplating that we were somewhere on the Konkan coast in the middle of nowhere, a dot on the map, nothing more. The world is big! Our second stop was Alleppey in Kerala, specially to see the 'Nehru Trophy Snake Boat Race'. The boat race was... an experience! We ended up surrounded by local men, sat with our legs dangling down towards the water and a rowdy crowd pushing in behind us. We were stuck there for about 5 hours and, as Helen put it, feared for our lives!
Okay, so the main point of the visit was to go back to Chennai to see friends and work for Oasis for three weeks. Which was by far what we were the most excited about! Arriving in Chennai felt strangely like returning to an old childhood haunt, familiar in a completely foreign way. We stayed with Anju, a friend from church, while we were there. That was such a blessing: coming back to a beautiful house each evening, hanging out with Anju, being provided with delicious Indian food every day!
Swine flu was just beginning to hit India when we arrived, so obviously we were regarded as highly suspicious, coming from a country where it had already made it big. A funny thing happened in the wonderful Fruit Shop. We arrived and managed to get a table in the very crowded juice bar, ordered our drinks and started discussing swine flu. I got a bit excited and pointed out *quite* loudly that it was possible I had already had the dreaded swine flu. The place went silent. People turned around to look at us. By the time we had our drinks, the place was empty save for one other person. And it gets better! The next visit we paid to the said Fruit Shop, all of the staff were wearing face masks. Oh dear.
It was wonderful to see the Oasis staff again! And to see how the projects have progressed, particularly the work in the Vyasarpadi community that they had just started working in when we left last time. While we were there, we were running an after school club in an underprivileged government secondary school in Vyasarpadi for an hour every day. If I can describe the school for you, it is basic and bare, nothing on the walls or the floors, just desks and benches. The playground is completely flooded with green looking sewage water and people use it as a place to dump their rubbish. About 80 kids attend there, and we noticed that quite a large proportion of them had special needs and requirements but were probably not getting the attention and support they needed for them. The school had asked Oasis to come in to help improve the situation, and the after school club we did was one of the initial stages of that. Because it is a government school, we couldn't talk about Jesus, but the kids still knew we were Christians. We mostly did games and some craft activities with an educational theme, like the value of teamwork and being fit and healthy. It was quite crazy for the first few sessions (40 excitable kids in a small classroom!) but the kids were fantastic and we had a faithful translator there which really helped us out.
Similar to last time, we were also running several fun clubs in conjunction with the tuition classes for children after school. One of these was in the same community that we had lived near and worked in last time, and quite a few of the kids attending were also the same. They were very excited to see us, although a bit miffed about where we had been all this time!
The other fun club was in Vyasarpadi, in a little tin hut on the roof of one of the Oasis staff members' house. The 25 or so kids who attended here were some of the most well behaved children I have encountered in India! They are all from Hindu families and yet have started asking to be given Bibles to read and are eager to hear about Jesus. We spent some time talking with John (it is his roof the fun club is held on) and were challenged and inspired by what he and his wife are doing. Their whole attitude to life is one of radical submission to God and a desire to make Jesus known. They love the people they live and work with in a way that is visible to anyone. It really reminded me that this is the point of it all: Jesus. Life is not about comforts, achievements, family. It can only be about Him. It is so worthwhile. What higher honour is there than to tell people the gospel?
India forces you to look poverty in the face and it is difficult not to be challenged on your attitude to the poor and the way you use your wealth. In Mumbai, a waiter in a restaurant we ate in made us feel very awkward by telling us that he could never come to England because it is a rich country and he is poor. Which is true. I am rich and the reality is that a lot of the world is poor. As a Christian, I am also very aware of the clarity of the teaching in the Bible about money and wealth and our attitude to the poor. I think it is something that everyone needs to think through for themselves, but I am convinced that I do have a responsibility as a privileged westerner to provide for my brothers and sisters on the other side of the world. Can I live in luxury whilst so many have so little? Our culture is one of so much excess and unnecessary striving after stuff. I actually need very little. I don't want to just get rid of my stuff and live simply to make myself feel better, but to use the wealth I have been given to provide for those who do not have what I do. My wealth is not mine, so why treat it with such possessiveness? If I was spending another man's money, I would do so with both wisdom, so I could give a good account to him, but also generosity, because it has been given to me and is not mine. I want to stop viewing giving as a good thing I can do if I want and rather as justice being worked out. What is unfair is that I have more in the first place. I could write so much about this, but if you are interested please check out Ronald Sider's book, "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger." Very thought provoking.
It really was such a privilege to be there and to do the work we did and meet the people we met. There is something very attractive about the poor, especially the children. They are enthusiastic about anything you do. They are grateful- we brought in fruit one day for them as part of the healthy eating theme, and they were so thankful afterwards. I don't want to be naive about poverty and make is sound romantic, because it is not, yet I can't get away from the feeling that these people who have so little seem to have something the rich do not have. Maybe the poor are the rich ones among us after all. I do think that the poor are so much more open to the gospel- they have no illusions of being self-sufficient and adequate on their own. They don't need to be brought to that place of helplessness before they can acknowledge their need because they are already there. They are ready for grace. I am generalizing a lot here, but it was just an observation that struck me while I was there. I loved being with these people. I want to say that I love the poor, but do my actions say that, too? I hope they will. Faith without deeds is dead.
India was celebrating her independence on the 15th August while we were there. Our options were: 1) Stay inside and hide. 2) Change our nationality for the day. Swiss, perhaps? 3) Risk it. Celebrate with the Indians that we finally got rid of them! We went for option 3 and had a great day at the government school for their celebrations and then out and about in Chennai. It did feel a bit strange, though!
The other big festival while we were there was the Hindu celebration of their god Ganesh. They set up these big clay idols of Ganesh all over the neighbourhood, play it music, offer food to it, that kind of thing. This goes on for 10 days and them they cart off the gods and dump them in the sea. Bizarre.
A highlight was seeing one of the girls in the tailoring group we taught last time, Indira. We met up with her and went to see the hostel she lives in now. It is difficult because although we feel like we know her so well and have so much to ask her, language is a big problem! Helen and I had a laugh thinking about what it will be like when there is the new heaven and new earth. Presumably language will no longer be a barrier and we will be able to communicate freely. And we will see these friends and be able to talk to them properly for the first time. "Remember that time when we could barely talk to each other...?!" That will be immense! I can't wait.
The last thing we were doing regularly was teaching English to the teenage boys on the Oasis football team. We didn't quite know how this would go, having always taught girls in the past, but they were a fantastic group. We had such a lot of fun with them, and actually some of the best English practice for them was just talking with us. We tried to teach them some useful phrases for future employment and got in some computer skills while we were writing CVs with them. I think all of us forgot the very different backgrounds we were from and just enjoyed hanging out together while we were there. It seemed like we had known them for much longer than 3 weeks when we left.
Saying goodbye was less painful that last time, probably because now that I have been back once I feel doomed to come back again! Everyone seemed to assume that we would be returning, and although I don't know when, I am sure they are right. I'm too far gone not to go back. It is such a privilege to go. The kids, as you say goodbye, shake your hand and say, "Next time, India?", and "Don't forget me!", and other equally heart-wrenching things. How can I just go home and forget? Once again, in the words of Brooke Fraser / The Bible, "Now that I have seen, I am responsible. Faith without deeds is dead."
Coming back home is like stepping back in to a different world. It really is such a contrast, you cannot imagine unless you have seen it. Coming back after 6 months last time meant that all of the other thoughts and emotions were masked by the ecstasy at being home again, whereas this time I feel like there is a lot more to think through and consider. I am so aware of how quickly my time passes. We all have a tendency to immerse ourselves in our individual lives and become blind to the bigger picture. I want to be living for a future that is greater and more glorious than anything I can imagine. I want my wealth and my treasure to last. And I am so thankful that there are people living like that who remind me that is what I am aiming for.
"What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away." 1 Corinthians 7:29-31
Tuesday 25 August 2009
Brooke Fraser - Albertine
I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
her mothers voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent
And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine
there in her eyes what I don't see with my own
Rwanda
now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are
I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet
Rwanda
I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them Albertine
I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine
Wednesday 22 July 2009
Have a listen...
...to the "Heart Matters" series of talks by Matt Chandler. It is good.
"My question is not, have men, biblically and historically, longed deeply for the things of God and paid any price to know Him deeply? And my question is not about whether or not creation groans, because the Bible just said it does. The question that haunts me, the question that troubles me, the question that I feel like I have to get to the bottom of is, why don't we? Why are we so content? Why are so few of us bothered?"
"My question is not, have men, biblically and historically, longed deeply for the things of God and paid any price to know Him deeply? And my question is not about whether or not creation groans, because the Bible just said it does. The question that haunts me, the question that troubles me, the question that I feel like I have to get to the bottom of is, why don't we? Why are we so content? Why are so few of us bothered?"
Friday 26 June 2009
It's too big, but you'll grow into it.
I have been reading a book by Brennan Manning called "Ruthless Trust". If you haven't read his book "Ragamuffin Gospel", read it! But this one is also good and entirely worthy of a dedicated post. So, here are some excellent and thought provoking quotes to ponder on...
When people realize that they have received a gift they can never repay, they notify their faces and their actions, and the tenor of their lives becomes one of humble and joyful thanksgiving.
The agnostic, neither denying nor affirming the existence of God, allows for a remote, impersonal cosmic force that is utterly unknowable. Given that stance, the agnostic is spared having to repudiate the puny, pathetic images of God that scar many a Christian heart and conscience.
To adore is to recognize the unfathomable greatness of God and the nothingness of the adorer.
Karl Rahner said, "In the days ahead, you will either be a mystic, i.e. one who has experienced God, or nothing at all."
Kabod is not a safe topic. It induces a feeling of terror before the Infinite and exposes as sham our empty religious talk and pointless activity, our idle curiosity and ludicrous pretensions of importance, our frantic busyness. The awareness that the eternal, transcendent God of Jesus Christ is our absolute future gives us the shakes. One day out of the blue comes the thought of our inevitable death, and the thought is so troubling that we want to live the rest of our lives in a shoe.
When the glory of the transcendent God is not addressed, our focus shifts to human behaviour, the cultivation of virtues and the extirpation of vices, the qualities of discipleship and so on. Personal responsibility replaces personal response to God, and we become engrossed in our efforts to grow in holiness. Our primary concern becomes our spiritual, intellectual and emotional well-being.
Like faith and hope, trust cannot be self-generated. I cannot simply will myself to trust. What outrageous irony: the one thing that I am responsible for throughout my life I cannot generate. The one thing I need to do I cannot do. But such is the meaning of radical dependence... What does lie within my power is paying attention to the faithfulness of Jesus.
We are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us.
Simon Tugwell writes, "We must allow our appetite for infinity to dislodge us whenever we are inclined to settle down and call it a day." Hungering and thirsting for more disturbs complacency, induces a blessed state of disquiet and propels our unending exploration into the mystery of God in Christ Jesus. Accepting no substitutes for what we really want leads to simplicity of life.
Humble men and women do not have a low opinion of themselves; they have no opinion of themselves, because they so rarely think about themselves... Humble people are without pretense, free from any sense of spiritual superiority, and liberated from the need to be associated with persons of importance. The awareness of their spiritual emptiness does not disconcert them. Neither overly sensitive to criticism nor inflated by praise, they recognize their brokenness, acknowledge their gifts, and refuse to take themselves seriously... Aware of their innate poverty, they throw themselves on the mercy of God with carefree abandon.
Following Jesus, the humble in heart waste little time in introspection, navel-gazing, looking in the mirror and being anxious about their spiritual growth. Their self-acceptance without self-concern is anchored in the acceptance of Jesus in their struggle to be faithful. They fasten their attention on God.
'Now here' spells 'nowhere'. To be fully present to whoever or whatever is immediately before us is to pitch a tent in the wilderness of Nowhere. It is an act of radical trust- trust that God can be encountered at no other time and in no other place than the present moment... When my mind is replaying the past glories and defeats or imagining unknown tomorrows, the music of what is happening is muted.
Our culture says that ruthless competition is they key to success. Jesus says that ruthless compassion is the purpose of the journey.
You will trust Him to the degree that you know you are loved by Him.
When people realize that they have received a gift they can never repay, they notify their faces and their actions, and the tenor of their lives becomes one of humble and joyful thanksgiving.
The agnostic, neither denying nor affirming the existence of God, allows for a remote, impersonal cosmic force that is utterly unknowable. Given that stance, the agnostic is spared having to repudiate the puny, pathetic images of God that scar many a Christian heart and conscience.
To adore is to recognize the unfathomable greatness of God and the nothingness of the adorer.
Karl Rahner said, "In the days ahead, you will either be a mystic, i.e. one who has experienced God, or nothing at all."
Kabod is not a safe topic. It induces a feeling of terror before the Infinite and exposes as sham our empty religious talk and pointless activity, our idle curiosity and ludicrous pretensions of importance, our frantic busyness. The awareness that the eternal, transcendent God of Jesus Christ is our absolute future gives us the shakes. One day out of the blue comes the thought of our inevitable death, and the thought is so troubling that we want to live the rest of our lives in a shoe.
When the glory of the transcendent God is not addressed, our focus shifts to human behaviour, the cultivation of virtues and the extirpation of vices, the qualities of discipleship and so on. Personal responsibility replaces personal response to God, and we become engrossed in our efforts to grow in holiness. Our primary concern becomes our spiritual, intellectual and emotional well-being.
Like faith and hope, trust cannot be self-generated. I cannot simply will myself to trust. What outrageous irony: the one thing that I am responsible for throughout my life I cannot generate. The one thing I need to do I cannot do. But such is the meaning of radical dependence... What does lie within my power is paying attention to the faithfulness of Jesus.
We are made for that which is too big for us. We are made for God, and nothing less will ever satisfy us.
Simon Tugwell writes, "We must allow our appetite for infinity to dislodge us whenever we are inclined to settle down and call it a day." Hungering and thirsting for more disturbs complacency, induces a blessed state of disquiet and propels our unending exploration into the mystery of God in Christ Jesus. Accepting no substitutes for what we really want leads to simplicity of life.
Humble men and women do not have a low opinion of themselves; they have no opinion of themselves, because they so rarely think about themselves... Humble people are without pretense, free from any sense of spiritual superiority, and liberated from the need to be associated with persons of importance. The awareness of their spiritual emptiness does not disconcert them. Neither overly sensitive to criticism nor inflated by praise, they recognize their brokenness, acknowledge their gifts, and refuse to take themselves seriously... Aware of their innate poverty, they throw themselves on the mercy of God with carefree abandon.
Following Jesus, the humble in heart waste little time in introspection, navel-gazing, looking in the mirror and being anxious about their spiritual growth. Their self-acceptance without self-concern is anchored in the acceptance of Jesus in their struggle to be faithful. They fasten their attention on God.
'Now here' spells 'nowhere'. To be fully present to whoever or whatever is immediately before us is to pitch a tent in the wilderness of Nowhere. It is an act of radical trust- trust that God can be encountered at no other time and in no other place than the present moment... When my mind is replaying the past glories and defeats or imagining unknown tomorrows, the music of what is happening is muted.
Our culture says that ruthless competition is they key to success. Jesus says that ruthless compassion is the purpose of the journey.
You will trust Him to the degree that you know you are loved by Him.
Friday 19 June 2009
Sunday 7 June 2009
Ruthless Trust
The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.
Brennan Manning
Saturday 6 June 2009
Time for my Self to get out of the way.
Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and looked into your own eyes for more than a couple of seconds? Try it- it is strangely disconcerting. I usually find myself mildly bemused that I am 'myself' and not someone else. I exist.
This strange person that I see looking back at me, my 'Self', really does get in the way. To quote Tozer, "the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them... Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice."
It is natural to want to make much of our Selves- no effort necessary, it just happens. Pride is such a deadly thing. It creeps in and disguises itself so that we don't even notice it lurking. Motives reveal it. Why do we do what we do? What motivates us? All too often I find pride at the bottom of it all. But "humility comes before honour." There is much to be said for being content with obscurity.
I have often heard people speak about how powerful 'secret sin' is in a life. But today I heard, for the first time, someone also speak of the power that 'secret good' has. Jesus said that we should do things in secret, to be seen by our Father, not by people. And our reward will be way better than people praise. Doing things in secret to express our love for our Father is a powerful thing. And it kills pride.
Even dwelling too much on our own proud heart can be unhelpful, though. It just becomes more and more about Self and less and less about Him. Actually, the solution is so very simple: less of Self, and more of God. Matt Redman sings, "You must increase, I must decrease, Lord. I'll bow down and You will be adored. I lift You high and bow down low; how high can You be? How low can I go?" Lets make much of Him and less of Self.
Almost as endemic as pride, though, is self-hatred. In fact, I think the two can be there hand in hand, feeding off of each other. And both are equally destructive.
"So often what is notoriously missing from the external, mechanized concept of salvation is self-acceptance, an experience that is internally personalized and rooted in the acceptance of Jesus Christ. It bids good riddance to unhealthy guilt, shame, remorse and self-hatred. Anything less- self-rejection in any form- is a manifest sign of a lack of trust in the total sufficiency of Jesus' saving work. Has he set me free from fear of the Father and dislike of myself, or has he not?" Brennan Manning
Who are we to put ourselves down? How can we slander our own bodies or appearance or personality or skills in a depreciating way? Not that we should be blind to our weaknesses, but surely the freedom and grace we have received sets us totally free from any obsession we have with how uncomely our Self is? I hear so many people putting themselves down. Especially girls. Is that honouring to our God?
"What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in." 1 Peter
"Preoccupation with our past sins, present weaknesses, and character defects gets our emotions churning in self-destructive ways, closes us within the mighty citadel of self, and preempts the presence of a compassionate God." Brennan Manning
Our identity is in Him. Not in what we say and do and wear and achieve. In Him, who we belong to. If that can truly sink into my head and my heart, I think I will be too bowled over by the gift of grace to be proud and too conscious of the love my Father has for me to be preoccupied by my own inadequacy.
This strange person that I see looking back at me, my 'Self', really does get in the way. To quote Tozer, "the self-sins are these: self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and a host of others like them. They dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them... Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice."
It is natural to want to make much of our Selves- no effort necessary, it just happens. Pride is such a deadly thing. It creeps in and disguises itself so that we don't even notice it lurking. Motives reveal it. Why do we do what we do? What motivates us? All too often I find pride at the bottom of it all. But "humility comes before honour." There is much to be said for being content with obscurity.
I have often heard people speak about how powerful 'secret sin' is in a life. But today I heard, for the first time, someone also speak of the power that 'secret good' has. Jesus said that we should do things in secret, to be seen by our Father, not by people. And our reward will be way better than people praise. Doing things in secret to express our love for our Father is a powerful thing. And it kills pride.
Even dwelling too much on our own proud heart can be unhelpful, though. It just becomes more and more about Self and less and less about Him. Actually, the solution is so very simple: less of Self, and more of God. Matt Redman sings, "You must increase, I must decrease, Lord. I'll bow down and You will be adored. I lift You high and bow down low; how high can You be? How low can I go?" Lets make much of Him and less of Self.
Almost as endemic as pride, though, is self-hatred. In fact, I think the two can be there hand in hand, feeding off of each other. And both are equally destructive.
"So often what is notoriously missing from the external, mechanized concept of salvation is self-acceptance, an experience that is internally personalized and rooted in the acceptance of Jesus Christ. It bids good riddance to unhealthy guilt, shame, remorse and self-hatred. Anything less- self-rejection in any form- is a manifest sign of a lack of trust in the total sufficiency of Jesus' saving work. Has he set me free from fear of the Father and dislike of myself, or has he not?" Brennan Manning
Who are we to put ourselves down? How can we slander our own bodies or appearance or personality or skills in a depreciating way? Not that we should be blind to our weaknesses, but surely the freedom and grace we have received sets us totally free from any obsession we have with how uncomely our Self is? I hear so many people putting themselves down. Especially girls. Is that honouring to our God?
"What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in." 1 Peter
"Preoccupation with our past sins, present weaknesses, and character defects gets our emotions churning in self-destructive ways, closes us within the mighty citadel of self, and preempts the presence of a compassionate God." Brennan Manning
Our identity is in Him. Not in what we say and do and wear and achieve. In Him, who we belong to. If that can truly sink into my head and my heart, I think I will be too bowled over by the gift of grace to be proud and too conscious of the love my Father has for me to be preoccupied by my own inadequacy.
"Ragamuffins"
Who and what are the ragamuffins? The unsung assembly of saved sinners who are little in their own sight, conscious of their brokenness and powerlessness before God, and who cast themselves on his Mercy. Startled by the extravagant love of God, they do not require success, fame, wealth or power to validate their worth. Their spirit transcends all distinctions between the powerful and powerless, educated and illiterate, billionaires and bag ladies, high-tech geeks and low-tech nerds, males and females, the circus and the sanctuary.
Alert to the manipulations and machinations of Pharisaical self-righteousness, ragamuffins refuse to surrender control of their lives to rules and regulations. They see that the stale religiosity of legalists, trapped in the fatal narcissism of spiritual perfectionism, obscures the face of the God of Jesus.
Brennan Manning
Monday 25 May 2009
Yes. Totally.
"I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room.
I want to look right at You I want to sing right to You."
Misty Edwards- 'Dove's Eyes'
I want to look right at You I want to sing right to You."
Misty Edwards- 'Dove's Eyes'
Wednesday 20 May 2009
Misty Edwards - You Won't Relent
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love
Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one
Misty Edwards: Relentless (playlist)
Tuesday 19 May 2009
Like the Lilies
The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars in the sky and "the lilies of the field"— simply and unaffectedly. Those are the lives that mold and shape us.
If you want to be of use to God, maintain the proper relationship with Jesus Christ by staying focused on Him, and He will make use of you every minute you live— yet you will be unaware, on the conscious level of your life, that you are being used of Him.
My Utmost for His Highest, May 18th
Sunday 17 May 2009
Psalm 18: Help
The ropes of death entangled me;
floods of destruction swept over me.
The hangman's noose was tight at my throat;
devil waters rushed over me.
Hell's ropes cinched me tight;
death traps barred every exit.
We don't like to ask for help. Even when everything is great and our lives seem within our own control, we need to realise that we still need help. Even more so than when we are way out of our depth. There isn't another way out. Everything about these verses says, "You are powerless to save yourself."
floods of destruction swept over me.
The hangman's noose was tight at my throat;
devil waters rushed over me.
Hell's ropes cinched me tight;
death traps barred every exit.
We don't like to ask for help. Even when everything is great and our lives seem within our own control, we need to realise that we still need help. Even more so than when we are way out of our depth. There isn't another way out. Everything about these verses says, "You are powerless to save yourself."
Friday 15 May 2009
Psalm 18: Trust
God is bedrock under my feet,
the castle in which I live,
my rescuing knight.
My God—the high crag
where I run for dear life,
hiding behind the boulders,
safe in the granite hideout.
Is it possible to trust God too much?
the castle in which I live,
my rescuing knight.
My God—the high crag
where I run for dear life,
hiding behind the boulders,
safe in the granite hideout.
Is it possible to trust God too much?
Psalm 18: Love
I love you, O Lord, my strength.
What does my lifestyle proclaim about what I love? Speaking about love for anything is easy, but the depth of it is apparent from a quick glance at my life. That place where my mind automatically returns to dwell. The pursuit that demands most of my time. The things that I am willing to pour my resources into. It all points towards what I love. All too often, it's pointing to me.
The temptation is to love myself.
My reputation.
My success.
My popularity.
My knowledge.
My comfort.
My happiness.
My fulfillment.
But- I love YOU, O Lord. I don't think that this is the kind of love that can be divided between numerous things. All or nothing. If there is any other love that even comes close to this in our lives, we probably need to do some re-evaluating of what it is we really love and value.
Where is my love? What is my strength?
What does my lifestyle proclaim about what I love? Speaking about love for anything is easy, but the depth of it is apparent from a quick glance at my life. That place where my mind automatically returns to dwell. The pursuit that demands most of my time. The things that I am willing to pour my resources into. It all points towards what I love. All too often, it's pointing to me.
The temptation is to love myself.
My reputation.
My success.
My popularity.
My knowledge.
My comfort.
My happiness.
My fulfillment.
But- I love YOU, O Lord. I don't think that this is the kind of love that can be divided between numerous things. All or nothing. If there is any other love that even comes close to this in our lives, we probably need to do some re-evaluating of what it is we really love and value.
Where is my love? What is my strength?
Thursday 7 May 2009
He is your life.
So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
Colossians 3:1-5
Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
Colossians 3:1-5
Friday 1 May 2009
Love Running
Just in case this reaches someone who I haven't already contacted via Facebook or email:
http://www.justgiving.com/kandacetiala
On May 10th I am joining 300 others from my church and community in Bristol to run the Bristol 10K. The idea is that it is a great way to 'do' community, get to know people, and round off 'The Noise' (the week of focus on social action in Bristol). And of course raise some money! Which is where you come in, no surprise.
First, where will your money be going? To three charities:
1. St Peter's Hospice in Bristol, caring for people with terminal ilnesses.
2. World Vision, Zimbabwe Partnership, the largest humanitarian organization currently working there.
3. One25 in Bristol, helping women involved in street-based sex work.
Everyone keeps saying how now is not a good time to be asking people for money, etc. But seriously, the work that this money is going to support is amazing and the people who will benefit need it a lot more than most of us do. No pressure, of course!
Thanks guys.
http://www.justgiving.com/kandacetiala
On May 10th I am joining 300 others from my church and community in Bristol to run the Bristol 10K. The idea is that it is a great way to 'do' community, get to know people, and round off 'The Noise' (the week of focus on social action in Bristol). And of course raise some money! Which is where you come in, no surprise.
First, where will your money be going? To three charities:
1. St Peter's Hospice in Bristol, caring for people with terminal ilnesses.
2. World Vision, Zimbabwe Partnership, the largest humanitarian organization currently working there.
3. One25 in Bristol, helping women involved in street-based sex work.
Everyone keeps saying how now is not a good time to be asking people for money, etc. But seriously, the work that this money is going to support is amazing and the people who will benefit need it a lot more than most of us do. No pressure, of course!
Thanks guys.
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Selfish Song - Paul Colman Trio
I don't need reminding to look after myself
So maybe when you wave goodbye
You could think of something else
I don't need reminding who is number one
On my list of priorities when all is said and done
I've never grown from the terrible two's
I've just learned to hide from all of you
Who is gonna sing my selfish song
Well the answer is me so don't sing along
Who is gonna change this heart of stone
Oh my God my life is a selfish song
Every revolution leads the people on
With promises and changes egalitarian
Hitler Mussolini Stalin Bonaparte
Well they proved a revolution
Doesn't really change your heart
I've never grown from the terrible two's
Don't you know nothing changes after a coup
They build a wall from the east to the west
Saying maybe Jesus was a communist
'Cause he spoke of love and equality
Then tell me why did they nail Him upon a tree?
'Cause he said, everyone is singing such a selfish song
And we don't want help not from anyone
I can make a change in your heart of stone
Hey don't you know that you can't
Do it on your own
Wednesday 22 April 2009
Cannons-Phil Whikham
It's falling from the clouds
A strange and lovely sound
I hear it in the thunder and rain
It's ringing in the skies
Like cannons in the night
The music of the universe plays
You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are
Beautiful and free
Song of Galaxies
It's reaching far beyond the milky way
Lets join in with the sound
C'mon let's sing it loud
As the music of the universe plays
All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours amen
All glory, honor, power is Yours forever amen
Tuesday 21 April 2009
Bees
'There is one thing I don't get,' I said.
'What's that?'
'How come if your favourite colour is blue, you painted your house so pink?'
She laughed. 'That was May's doing. She was with me the day I went to the paint store to pick out the colour. I had a nice tan colour in mind, but May latched on to this sample called Caribbean Pink. She said it made her feel like dancing a Spanish flamenco. I thought, "Well, this is the tackiest colour I've ever seen, and we'll have half the town talking about us, but if it can lift May's heart like that, I guess she ought to live inside it." '
'All this time I figured you just liked pink,' I said.
She laughed again. 'You know, some things don't matter that much Lily. Like the colour of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person's heart- now, that matters. The whole problem with people is-'
'They don't know what matters and what doesn't,' I said, filling in her sentence and feeling proud of myself for doing so.
'I was gonna say, The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it. You know how hard that is, Lily? I love May, but it was still so hard to choose Caribbean Pink. The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.'
The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd
'What's that?'
'How come if your favourite colour is blue, you painted your house so pink?'
She laughed. 'That was May's doing. She was with me the day I went to the paint store to pick out the colour. I had a nice tan colour in mind, but May latched on to this sample called Caribbean Pink. She said it made her feel like dancing a Spanish flamenco. I thought, "Well, this is the tackiest colour I've ever seen, and we'll have half the town talking about us, but if it can lift May's heart like that, I guess she ought to live inside it." '
'All this time I figured you just liked pink,' I said.
She laughed again. 'You know, some things don't matter that much Lily. Like the colour of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person's heart- now, that matters. The whole problem with people is-'
'They don't know what matters and what doesn't,' I said, filling in her sentence and feeling proud of myself for doing so.
'I was gonna say, The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it. You know how hard that is, Lily? I love May, but it was still so hard to choose Caribbean Pink. The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.'
The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd
Sunday 19 April 2009
Ffald-y-Brenin (The Grace Outpouring)
A new resolve had entered my life. Instead of talking about him and preaching about him and evangelising about him and being a pastor for him, I wanted to know God. And now that's my heart: to know him and to know him more. Not to know more about him, but to know him more. Everything else follows as an overflow of that relationship. When the major passion of my heart changed from mission to simply knowing him, the mission activity then began to flow out of the knowing.
To live a life for God involves loving Jesus and desiring his presence above all things, and then pouring out love to the least and last, the lost and lonely, speaking for the voiceless, clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, declaring good news and being good news to the world around- all from the overflow of time in his presence.
A number of years ago I felt a cry rising up in my inmost being- there has to be more than this. As I remembered my dreams of what living like a child of God would be like, there was that cry again. There has to be more than this. I was stirred by memories of great days in the past when God had seemed so close, but that's where they were- in the past. O God, there must be more than this.
Looking at church initiated the same cry. There is so much good, so many signs of blessing in many local churches and fellowships, but looking more broadly at the national scene raised the question 'Is this really all the Father has in mind for the bride of his Son?'
These cries reflect the searching of the early desert fathers. And I sensed that this was more than merely the cry of my own heart. I could hear echoes of it in the conversations I had with others as they reflected on their own lives and the reality of church life. I believe that God himself has put that cry in people's hearts because he's stirring them up.
www.ffald-y-brenin.org
To live a life for God involves loving Jesus and desiring his presence above all things, and then pouring out love to the least and last, the lost and lonely, speaking for the voiceless, clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, declaring good news and being good news to the world around- all from the overflow of time in his presence.
A number of years ago I felt a cry rising up in my inmost being- there has to be more than this. As I remembered my dreams of what living like a child of God would be like, there was that cry again. There has to be more than this. I was stirred by memories of great days in the past when God had seemed so close, but that's where they were- in the past. O God, there must be more than this.
Looking at church initiated the same cry. There is so much good, so many signs of blessing in many local churches and fellowships, but looking more broadly at the national scene raised the question 'Is this really all the Father has in mind for the bride of his Son?'
These cries reflect the searching of the early desert fathers. And I sensed that this was more than merely the cry of my own heart. I could hear echoes of it in the conversations I had with others as they reflected on their own lives and the reality of church life. I believe that God himself has put that cry in people's hearts because he's stirring them up.
www.ffald-y-brenin.org
Thursday 16 April 2009
Stupid Sheep
"I decided that the greatest cross would be to be without these crosses. Every time the crosses stopped for a brief time, I saw that I had not used them well, missing out on advantages to my soul by not responding properly. I could not reconcile these two opposite things: to desire the crosses for their advantages; to bear them when they caused so much difficulty and pain. Gradually I understood that experiencing crosses was more profitable than living a life that abounded with blessing. Without crosses, the soul never dies to itself. Blessings lead to self-love, which is crafty and dangerous by how it is woven into everything we do." Madame Guyon
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10
Consider it PURE JOY when you endure trials of many kinds. It is so easy to be joyful when life is good and when things are going well, and it is even easy to say then that I will continue to be joyful if things get difficult. But that shows how little I know myself! It has been interesting to read the story of a remarkable woman who lived in France in the seventeenth century, Madame Guyon. She faced trials and persecution almost constantly throughout her life, yet her attitude was so unusual in that she accepted whatever came her way as being God's will and plan and so had a peace about it. Everything should be for the glory of God- even the struggles.
Lambing was not much fun as it turned out. After the first week, I was desperate to leave and just existing until I could do that. Instead of rejoicing, I despaired. Instead of glorifying God in it, I put Him on hold and forgot. But even so, I did learn a lot from being there. And not just about how to lamb sheep! I learnt (again) that you can never know what is going on in a person's life and what stuff they are coping with. We need to deal with each other with the same grace that we have been shown. I learnt that it is easier to argue with someone speaking foolishly than to hold your tongue (Proverbs 26:4-5). I learnt that sheep are the most stupid animals. I learnt that a lot of people live with a lot of regret.
A few more quotes from Madame Guyon:
"God gives what is best for us, though not always what we most wish for. We are called to enjoy God himself and not merely His gifts. Otherwise we spend our lives running after happy little moments, feeding on them instead of God."
"How we pass the time treasuring God's gifts and thinking ourselves happy. We must not stop there, short of true rest, but go forward to God himself- through the loss of those cherished gifts."
"The gifts God gives us do not make us good servants unless we use them with deep humility. Dying to ourselves is more beneficial."
"Devotion to God grows out of pain and weariness. When God builds His sacred temple within us, He first razes our pompous self, and from its ruins He forms a new structure."
"I realized I tried to acquire by my own efforts what I could have only by ceasing from all effort."
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" Proverbs 24:10
Consider it PURE JOY when you endure trials of many kinds. It is so easy to be joyful when life is good and when things are going well, and it is even easy to say then that I will continue to be joyful if things get difficult. But that shows how little I know myself! It has been interesting to read the story of a remarkable woman who lived in France in the seventeenth century, Madame Guyon. She faced trials and persecution almost constantly throughout her life, yet her attitude was so unusual in that she accepted whatever came her way as being God's will and plan and so had a peace about it. Everything should be for the glory of God- even the struggles.
Lambing was not much fun as it turned out. After the first week, I was desperate to leave and just existing until I could do that. Instead of rejoicing, I despaired. Instead of glorifying God in it, I put Him on hold and forgot. But even so, I did learn a lot from being there. And not just about how to lamb sheep! I learnt (again) that you can never know what is going on in a person's life and what stuff they are coping with. We need to deal with each other with the same grace that we have been shown. I learnt that it is easier to argue with someone speaking foolishly than to hold your tongue (Proverbs 26:4-5). I learnt that sheep are the most stupid animals. I learnt that a lot of people live with a lot of regret.
A few more quotes from Madame Guyon:
"God gives what is best for us, though not always what we most wish for. We are called to enjoy God himself and not merely His gifts. Otherwise we spend our lives running after happy little moments, feeding on them instead of God."
"How we pass the time treasuring God's gifts and thinking ourselves happy. We must not stop there, short of true rest, but go forward to God himself- through the loss of those cherished gifts."
"The gifts God gives us do not make us good servants unless we use them with deep humility. Dying to ourselves is more beneficial."
"Devotion to God grows out of pain and weariness. When God builds His sacred temple within us, He first razes our pompous self, and from its ruins He forms a new structure."
"I realized I tried to acquire by my own efforts what I could have only by ceasing from all effort."
Tuesday 17 March 2009
Behold!
Transformed by Beholding- My Utmost for His Highest, Jan 23
The greatest characteristic a Christian can exhibit is this completely unveiled openness before God, which allows that person’s life to become a mirror for others. When the Spirit fills us, we are transformed, and by beholding God we become mirrors. You can always tell when someone has been beholding the glory of the Lord, because your inner spirit senses that he mirrors the Lord’s own character. Beware of anything that would spot or tarnish that mirror in you. It is almost always something good that will stain it— something good, but not what is best.
The most important rule for us is to concentrate on keeping our lives open to God. Let everything else including work, clothes, and food be set aside. The busyness of things obscures our concentration on God. We must maintain a position of beholding Him, keeping our lives completely spiritual through and through. Let other things come and go as they will; let other people criticize us as they will; but never allow anything to obscure the life that “is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him. This is an easy thing to allow, but we must guard against it. The most difficult lesson of the Christian life is learning how to continue “beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord . . . .”
We all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image. 2 Corinthians 3:18
The greatest characteristic a Christian can exhibit is this completely unveiled openness before God, which allows that person’s life to become a mirror for others. When the Spirit fills us, we are transformed, and by beholding God we become mirrors. You can always tell when someone has been beholding the glory of the Lord, because your inner spirit senses that he mirrors the Lord’s own character. Beware of anything that would spot or tarnish that mirror in you. It is almost always something good that will stain it— something good, but not what is best.
The most important rule for us is to concentrate on keeping our lives open to God. Let everything else including work, clothes, and food be set aside. The busyness of things obscures our concentration on God. We must maintain a position of beholding Him, keeping our lives completely spiritual through and through. Let other things come and go as they will; let other people criticize us as they will; but never allow anything to obscure the life that “is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). Never let a hurried lifestyle disturb the relationship of abiding in Him. This is an easy thing to allow, but we must guard against it. The most difficult lesson of the Christian life is learning how to continue “beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord . . . .”
Two terms down, 13 to go...
I am having a late-night stint (these do not happen often!) and figured it was about time for another blog post, what with it nearing the end of second term and all that. Keep all you avid readers updated on my life! (Well, by avid readers, I probably actually mean my Mum, maybe Rosie and a few randomers who have stumbled across this blog and have no idea who I even am...)
Life as a vet student can be best summed up as a constant battle with my eyelids. They do not cooperate in lectures- I tell them to stay open, but I am sure they plot and scheme to get heavier and heavier until I cannot help but give in. So then I tell myself I will listen with my eyes closed- the problem is that the battle then shifts to my brain which also decides not to cooperate and slowly, slowly begins to miraculously transform even the most exciting biochemistry lecture into an unintelligible foreign language. I think I am going to buy some play dough to make models instead of notes. It might help me concentrate better.
That does make it all sound rather bleak- it really isn't! I do find a lot of what we learn interesting, it is just the sheer volume that we have to know. I have been a bit complacent since passing January exams, but I know next term will require some serious study time if I am going to make it through the June lot. It seems very strange that this year represents one fifth of my training as a vet. I feel like I have learnt so little, altho I know that is probably not the case. I am in the middle of doing washing and packing ready to spend three weeks on a sheep farm in Somerset helping with the lambing.
I feel a lot more settled here this term than I did last term. It was really lovely to go home last weekend, although coming back to Bristol on Sunday evening made me realise that I have friends here now who I love dearly and it would make choosing between Alton and Bristol nigh impossible. I like this arrangement of some time in each.
Life is still ridiculously busy here, but I am getting better at making time to do the things that I consider important. Just recently I have rediscovered how awesome it is to spend time alone with my Father, listening to Him and talking to Him and reading His word. It seems crazy that we should ever wake up in the morning and not be struck with an overwhelming desire to spend time with this God of the universe who cares for us. But I know I easily get distracted and somehow my priorities get all screwed up and my desires change and something else becomes my focus. But that is totally not the best way! It means that I miss out on so much. I guess I would rather veer on the side of being too 'extreme' than of being lukewarm and average. It is very easy to be distracted.
I have been learning the truth of what the Psalmist says- 'All those whose hope is in You will never be put to shame.' Where is my hope? Recently I have been thinking a lot about joy, partly due to reading 1 Peter, and how I can have this completely inexpressible joy because of the hope and love I have in my Saviour. So often we forget that joy, we lose the joy of our salvation, we forget that it is supposed to be our strength, we settle for our garments of mourning and sadness instead of accepting the new ones of joy and gladness. Why?!
Oh there is so much I could write about and I realise this is quite a poor summation of this term! But that will have to do for now.
Life as a vet student can be best summed up as a constant battle with my eyelids. They do not cooperate in lectures- I tell them to stay open, but I am sure they plot and scheme to get heavier and heavier until I cannot help but give in. So then I tell myself I will listen with my eyes closed- the problem is that the battle then shifts to my brain which also decides not to cooperate and slowly, slowly begins to miraculously transform even the most exciting biochemistry lecture into an unintelligible foreign language. I think I am going to buy some play dough to make models instead of notes. It might help me concentrate better.
That does make it all sound rather bleak- it really isn't! I do find a lot of what we learn interesting, it is just the sheer volume that we have to know. I have been a bit complacent since passing January exams, but I know next term will require some serious study time if I am going to make it through the June lot. It seems very strange that this year represents one fifth of my training as a vet. I feel like I have learnt so little, altho I know that is probably not the case. I am in the middle of doing washing and packing ready to spend three weeks on a sheep farm in Somerset helping with the lambing.
I feel a lot more settled here this term than I did last term. It was really lovely to go home last weekend, although coming back to Bristol on Sunday evening made me realise that I have friends here now who I love dearly and it would make choosing between Alton and Bristol nigh impossible. I like this arrangement of some time in each.
Life is still ridiculously busy here, but I am getting better at making time to do the things that I consider important. Just recently I have rediscovered how awesome it is to spend time alone with my Father, listening to Him and talking to Him and reading His word. It seems crazy that we should ever wake up in the morning and not be struck with an overwhelming desire to spend time with this God of the universe who cares for us. But I know I easily get distracted and somehow my priorities get all screwed up and my desires change and something else becomes my focus. But that is totally not the best way! It means that I miss out on so much. I guess I would rather veer on the side of being too 'extreme' than of being lukewarm and average. It is very easy to be distracted.
I have been learning the truth of what the Psalmist says- 'All those whose hope is in You will never be put to shame.' Where is my hope? Recently I have been thinking a lot about joy, partly due to reading 1 Peter, and how I can have this completely inexpressible joy because of the hope and love I have in my Saviour. So often we forget that joy, we lose the joy of our salvation, we forget that it is supposed to be our strength, we settle for our garments of mourning and sadness instead of accepting the new ones of joy and gladness. Why?!
Oh there is so much I could write about and I realise this is quite a poor summation of this term! But that will have to do for now.
Friday 13 March 2009
God of this City
You're the God of this City
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You are
You're the Light in this darkness
You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless
You are
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
There is no one like our god
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
Mute Math - Typical
by Mute Math
Come on, can I dream for one day?
There's nothing that can't be done
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone
Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
Now I've lived through my share of misfortune
And I've worked in the blazing sun
But how long should it take somebody
Before they can be someone
Cuz I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
I'm the typical
I'm the typical
Can I break the spell of the typical?
Because it's draggin' me down
Oh, I'd like to know about when
When does it all turn around?
Yeah I know there's got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I'm feelin' like it's now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
Break the spell (of the typical)
Break the spell (of the typical)
Can I break the spell of the typical?
Tuesday 3 March 2009
Spurgeon's 'Seed in the Thorns'
I shall briefly treat of the third class, and may the Spirit of God assist me to deal faithfully with you. "And some fell among THORNS; and the thorns sprang up with it, and choked it." Now, this was good soil. The two first characters were bad: the wayside was not the proper place, the rock was not a congenial situation for the growth of any plant; but this is good soil, for it grows thorns. Wherever a thistle will spring up and flourish, there would wheat flourish too. This was fat, fertile soil; it was no marvel therefore that the husbandman dealt largely there, and threw handful after handful upon that corner of the field. See how happy he is when in a month or two he visits the spot. The seed has sprung up. True, there's a suspicious little plant down there of about the same size as the wheat. "Oh!" he thinks, "that's not much, the corn will out-grow that. When it is stronger it will choke these few thistles that have unfortunately mixed with it." Ay, Mr. Husbandman, you do not understand the force of evil, or you would not thus dream! He comes again, and the seed has grown, there is even the corn in the ear; but the thistles, the thorns, and the briars have become intertwisted with one another, and the poor wheat can hardly get a ray of sunshine. It is so choked with thorns every way, that it looks quite yellow: the plant is starved. Still it perseveres in growing, and it does seem as if it would bring forth a little fruit. Alas, it never comes to anything. With it the reaper never fills his arm.
We have this class very largely among us. These hear the word and understand what they hear. They take the truth home; they think it over; they even go the length of making a profession of religion. The wheat seems to spring and ear; it will soon come to perfection. Be in no hurry, these men and women have a great deal to see after; they have the cares of a large concern; their establishment employs so many hundred hands; do not be deceived as to their godliness—they have no time for it. They will tell you that they must live; that they cannot neglect this world; that they must anyhow look out for the present, and as for the future, they will render it all due attention by-and-by. They continue to attend gospel-preaching, and the poor little stunted blade of religion keeps on growing after a fashion. Meanwhile they have grown rich, they come to the place of worship in a carriage, they have all that heart can wish. Ah! Now the seed will grow, will it not? No, no. They have no cares now; the shop is given up, they live in the country; they have not to ask, "Where shall the money come from to meet the next bill?" or "how shall they be able to provide for an increasing family." Now they have too much instead of too little, for they have riches, and they are too wealthy to be gracious. "But," says one, "they might spend their riches for God." Certainly they might, but they do not, for riches are deceitful. They have to entertain much company, and chime in with the world, and so Christ and his church are left in the lurch.
Yes, but they begin to spend their riches, and they have surely got over that difficulty, for they give largely to the cause of Christ, and they are munificent in charity; the little blade will grow, will it not? No, for now behold the thorns of pleasure. Their liberality to others involves liberality to themselves; their pleasures, amusements, and vanities choke the wheat of true religion: the good grains of gospel truth cannot grow because they have to attend that musical party, that ball, and that soiree, and so they cannot think of the things of God. I know several specimens of this class. I knew one, high in court circles, who has confessed to me that he wished he were poor, for then he might enter the kingdom of heaven. He has said to me, "Ah! Sir, these politics, these politics, I wish I were rid of them, they are eating the life out of my heart; I cannot serve God as I would." I know of another, overloaded with riches, who has said to me, "Ah! Sir, it is an awful thing to be rich; one cannot keep close to the Saviour with all this earth about him."
Ah! My dear readers, I will not ask for you that God may lay you on a bed of sickness, that he may strip you of all your wealth, and bring you to beggary; but, oh, if he were to do it, and you were to save your souls, it would be the best bargain you could ever make. If those mighty ones who now complain that the thorns choke the seed could give up all their riches and pleasures, if they that fare sumptuously every day could take the place of Lazarus at the gate, it were a happy change for them if their souls might be saved. A man may be honourable and rich, and yet go to heaven; but it will be hard work, for "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven." God does make some rich men enter the kingdom of heaven, but hard is their struggle. Steady, young man, steady! Hurry not to climb to wealth! It is a place where many heads are turned. Do not ask God to make you popular; they that have popularity are wearied by it. Cry with Agur—"Give me neither poverty nor riches." God give me to tread the golden mean, and may I ever have in my heart that good seed, which shall bring forth fruit a hundredfold to his own glory.
We have this class very largely among us. These hear the word and understand what they hear. They take the truth home; they think it over; they even go the length of making a profession of religion. The wheat seems to spring and ear; it will soon come to perfection. Be in no hurry, these men and women have a great deal to see after; they have the cares of a large concern; their establishment employs so many hundred hands; do not be deceived as to their godliness—they have no time for it. They will tell you that they must live; that they cannot neglect this world; that they must anyhow look out for the present, and as for the future, they will render it all due attention by-and-by. They continue to attend gospel-preaching, and the poor little stunted blade of religion keeps on growing after a fashion. Meanwhile they have grown rich, they come to the place of worship in a carriage, they have all that heart can wish. Ah! Now the seed will grow, will it not? No, no. They have no cares now; the shop is given up, they live in the country; they have not to ask, "Where shall the money come from to meet the next bill?" or "how shall they be able to provide for an increasing family." Now they have too much instead of too little, for they have riches, and they are too wealthy to be gracious. "But," says one, "they might spend their riches for God." Certainly they might, but they do not, for riches are deceitful. They have to entertain much company, and chime in with the world, and so Christ and his church are left in the lurch.
Yes, but they begin to spend their riches, and they have surely got over that difficulty, for they give largely to the cause of Christ, and they are munificent in charity; the little blade will grow, will it not? No, for now behold the thorns of pleasure. Their liberality to others involves liberality to themselves; their pleasures, amusements, and vanities choke the wheat of true religion: the good grains of gospel truth cannot grow because they have to attend that musical party, that ball, and that soiree, and so they cannot think of the things of God. I know several specimens of this class. I knew one, high in court circles, who has confessed to me that he wished he were poor, for then he might enter the kingdom of heaven. He has said to me, "Ah! Sir, these politics, these politics, I wish I were rid of them, they are eating the life out of my heart; I cannot serve God as I would." I know of another, overloaded with riches, who has said to me, "Ah! Sir, it is an awful thing to be rich; one cannot keep close to the Saviour with all this earth about him."
Ah! My dear readers, I will not ask for you that God may lay you on a bed of sickness, that he may strip you of all your wealth, and bring you to beggary; but, oh, if he were to do it, and you were to save your souls, it would be the best bargain you could ever make. If those mighty ones who now complain that the thorns choke the seed could give up all their riches and pleasures, if they that fare sumptuously every day could take the place of Lazarus at the gate, it were a happy change for them if their souls might be saved. A man may be honourable and rich, and yet go to heaven; but it will be hard work, for "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven." God does make some rich men enter the kingdom of heaven, but hard is their struggle. Steady, young man, steady! Hurry not to climb to wealth! It is a place where many heads are turned. Do not ask God to make you popular; they that have popularity are wearied by it. Cry with Agur—"Give me neither poverty nor riches." God give me to tread the golden mean, and may I ever have in my heart that good seed, which shall bring forth fruit a hundredfold to his own glory.
Monday 2 March 2009
But you're part of this world!
TREEBEARD: We have just agreed.The Two Towers
MERRY: Yes?
TREEBEARD: I have told your names to the ent moot and we have agreed: you are not Orcs.
PIPPIN: Well that’s good news.
MERRY: And what about Saruman? Have you come to a decision about him?
TREEBEARD: Now don’t be hasty, Master Meriadoc.
MERRY: Hasty? Our friends are out there. They need our help! They cannot fight this war on their own.
TREEBEARD: War, yes. It affects us all. But you must understand, young hobbit. It takes a long time to say anything in old entish, and we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.
_________________________________________________________
TREEBEARD: The ents cannot hold back this war. We must weather such things as we have always done.
MERRY: How can that be your decision?
TREEBEARD: This is not our war.
MERRY: But you're part of this world! Aren’t you? You must help. Please. You must do something.
TREEBEARD: You are young and brave, master Merry. But your part in this tale is over. Go back to your home.
PIPPIN: Maybe Treebeard’s right. We don’t belong here, Merry. It’s too big for us. What can we do in the end? We’ve got the Shire. Maybe we should go home.
MERRY: The fires of Isengard will spread. And the woods of Tuckborough and Buckland will burn. And... and all that was once green and good in this world will be gone. There won’t be a Shire, Pippin.
If it doesn't affect us, is it our war? Should we fight while our forest is comfortable and detatched? What if we actually got out of the forest and saw with our own eyes what the world is like? After all, we are part of this world.
Solution, Hillsong
It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The Mercy for the need
Singing, Hey now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now
As we hold to our confession
Yeah
It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be your hands and feet
Friday 20 February 2009
The Irresistible Revolution- Shane Claiborne
"I am not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people."
Live Deliberately
Breathe Deeply
Suck the Marrow out of Life
"Don't call us saints. We don't want to be dismissed that easily." Dorothy Day
"Following Jesus is simple, but not easy."
"I'm not sure we need more churches. What we really need is a church."
"Rather than being bound up by how much stuff we need to buy, we can get enslaved to how simply we must live."
"Most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived." Wendell Berry
"We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it." Mother Theresa
"In my suburban comfort, I increasingly felt disturbed by God. I became very uncomfortable in the comfortable suburbs. The beautiful thing was my discomfort arose not from a cynical judgmentalism, but from a longing for something more. I did not want to settle for comfort. I did not want to settle for a life detached from the groaning of the slums or the beauty of playing in open fire hydrants and having block parties in the inner city."
"If we are crazy, then it is because we refuse to be crazy in the same way the world has gone crazy." Peter Maurin
"All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip or dance, just don't tiptoe."
Live Deliberately
Breathe Deeply
Suck the Marrow out of Life
"Don't call us saints. We don't want to be dismissed that easily." Dorothy Day
"Following Jesus is simple, but not easy."
"I'm not sure we need more churches. What we really need is a church."
"Rather than being bound up by how much stuff we need to buy, we can get enslaved to how simply we must live."
"Most good things have been said far too many times and just need to be lived." Wendell Berry
"We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it." Mother Theresa
"In my suburban comfort, I increasingly felt disturbed by God. I became very uncomfortable in the comfortable suburbs. The beautiful thing was my discomfort arose not from a cynical judgmentalism, but from a longing for something more. I did not want to settle for comfort. I did not want to settle for a life detached from the groaning of the slums or the beauty of playing in open fire hydrants and having block parties in the inner city."
"If we are crazy, then it is because we refuse to be crazy in the same way the world has gone crazy." Peter Maurin
"All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip or dance, just don't tiptoe."
Friday 13 February 2009
Live Simple
To live simply- what does that mean? I think a form of simple living is becoming quite fashionable right now. I was exploring Gloucester Road in Bristol this afternoon and I must have walked past tens of shops that had some kind of organic, eco-friendly, natural theme to them. You can even get an organic hair cut there! (Gloucester Road is a pretty cool place, btw, in case anyone is thinking of going there. Check it out.) Maybe people are realising that being rich and leading an extravagant lifestyle does not necessarily make one happy. Maybe it just makes people feel like they are living well and so makes them feel better about themselves.
I'm not sure what the reason is, but I can see the attraction. I love the idea of living close to nature, of having minimal impact on this planet, of buying only what is absolutely necessary, of supporting small businesses and buying products that mean everyone gets a fair deal. So is that a simple lifestyle? It is certainly getting rid of a lot of the materialism and greed that characterizes the world today.
I am reading a book called 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne atm (no doubt a further post will follow) and came across this:
Interesting thought. And I think it is true- simple living can become as much of an obsession as extravagant living. It can be anything but simple!
So, taking it back to Jesus: did He live simply? Yeah, I think so. He had this great attitude to money, an ability to render it pretty much worthless. It just wasn't important. Jesus' simple living flowed out of a love for His Father and for other people. He gave and gave and gave- He actually spent time with the poor. Maybe our ethical living trend is an excuse for our lack of actual contact with the poor, a way to make us feel less guilty?
The other side of this simple living that I have been thinking about is our total reliance on technology, particularly computers and the internet. I realised this week that on a typical day, the first thing I do when I get in from Uni is switch on the laptop and check my emails or go on facebook. And that annoys me! But it has become so necessary- everything happens online. Communication hardly ever happens face to face. I'd love to give up computers for a bit, but it just isn't practical. I can change my habits tho. Maybe that will have more of an impact than I expect.
I'm not sure what the reason is, but I can see the attraction. I love the idea of living close to nature, of having minimal impact on this planet, of buying only what is absolutely necessary, of supporting small businesses and buying products that mean everyone gets a fair deal. So is that a simple lifestyle? It is certainly getting rid of a lot of the materialism and greed that characterizes the world today.
I am reading a book called 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne atm (no doubt a further post will follow) and came across this:
"Rather than being bound up by how much stuff we need to buy, we can get enslaved to how simply we must live."
Interesting thought. And I think it is true- simple living can become as much of an obsession as extravagant living. It can be anything but simple!
So, taking it back to Jesus: did He live simply? Yeah, I think so. He had this great attitude to money, an ability to render it pretty much worthless. It just wasn't important. Jesus' simple living flowed out of a love for His Father and for other people. He gave and gave and gave- He actually spent time with the poor. Maybe our ethical living trend is an excuse for our lack of actual contact with the poor, a way to make us feel less guilty?
The other side of this simple living that I have been thinking about is our total reliance on technology, particularly computers and the internet. I realised this week that on a typical day, the first thing I do when I get in from Uni is switch on the laptop and check my emails or go on facebook. And that annoys me! But it has become so necessary- everything happens online. Communication hardly ever happens face to face. I'd love to give up computers for a bit, but it just isn't practical. I can change my habits tho. Maybe that will have more of an impact than I expect.
Tuesday 3 February 2009
Wednesday 28 January 2009
Me?
Have you ever had those times when you wonder how people see you? Wonder what it would be like to see yourself through someone else's eyes? And occasionally people will say something that gives a glimpse of how you come across to them, which is often totally different to what you expect. I've had a few of those moments this week.
You see, I have discovered that I seem to have developed some kind of image and reputation as a 'nice' person. Generally, I seem to have a pretty good reputation. It's just little comments from people but I've had a few of them this week and their cumulative effect has been to make me think a bit about reputation. We had a lecture last week about making ethical decisions and the speaker was talking about the different ways to go about this. One of them was the 'virtue' method- this basically uses the theory that if you are a good person, you will make good decisions. But she went on to say that in her opinion, one of the risks of this method is that it becomes all about the vet making themselves look good and actually it might result in unethical decisions being made. Pride creeps in there.
Is the point to be known as a 'nice' person? No! That should never be my aim. Is the point to make myself look good? Of course not. Still, subconsciously it happens. But I want people to see Jesus. I want to live as someone who points to Him, who makes Him look bigger and myself look smaller.
The truth is, I have no idea how I have acquired this label. I know myself well and I know that there is much in me and about me that is not 'nice'. I know the darkest parts of myself, my lack of love, my selfishness, my anger...everything. I was chatting to Sabrina (who I lived with in India) last weekend about how she and Helen are some of the few people who have seen the worst in me as well as the best. Living closely with other people means that you really get to know yourself!
If people see something in me that they admire then that is fantastic- but I don't want it to end there. I want it to point them on to Jesus. I want it to spur them on to get to know Him more. Because anything that they do see is certainly not my own doing or effort- it is all because of Him. And He should get the glory, not me. Pride is a battle and it would be foolish to pretend otherwise. But God lifts up people who are humble. And I don't want 'me' to get in God's way. I want to be bowed down before Him.
If I have my eyes fixed on God and am adoring Him, caring only about what He thinks of me, then that's a good start. And if I really am loving other people, then what I do should never become about me. It should always be about my love- God's love- for those other people.
Be content with obscurity.
You see, I have discovered that I seem to have developed some kind of image and reputation as a 'nice' person. Generally, I seem to have a pretty good reputation. It's just little comments from people but I've had a few of them this week and their cumulative effect has been to make me think a bit about reputation. We had a lecture last week about making ethical decisions and the speaker was talking about the different ways to go about this. One of them was the 'virtue' method- this basically uses the theory that if you are a good person, you will make good decisions. But she went on to say that in her opinion, one of the risks of this method is that it becomes all about the vet making themselves look good and actually it might result in unethical decisions being made. Pride creeps in there.
"People who are obsessed with Jesus know that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be 'humble enough', and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known." Crazy Love
Is the point to be known as a 'nice' person? No! That should never be my aim. Is the point to make myself look good? Of course not. Still, subconsciously it happens. But I want people to see Jesus. I want to live as someone who points to Him, who makes Him look bigger and myself look smaller.
The truth is, I have no idea how I have acquired this label. I know myself well and I know that there is much in me and about me that is not 'nice'. I know the darkest parts of myself, my lack of love, my selfishness, my anger...everything. I was chatting to Sabrina (who I lived with in India) last weekend about how she and Helen are some of the few people who have seen the worst in me as well as the best. Living closely with other people means that you really get to know yourself!
If people see something in me that they admire then that is fantastic- but I don't want it to end there. I want it to point them on to Jesus. I want it to spur them on to get to know Him more. Because anything that they do see is certainly not my own doing or effort- it is all because of Him. And He should get the glory, not me. Pride is a battle and it would be foolish to pretend otherwise. But God lifts up people who are humble. And I don't want 'me' to get in God's way. I want to be bowed down before Him.
"I lift you high and bow down low. How high can You be? How low can I go?"
If I have my eyes fixed on God and am adoring Him, caring only about what He thinks of me, then that's a good start. And if I really am loving other people, then what I do should never become about me. It should always be about my love- God's love- for those other people.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:6
Be content with obscurity.
Monday 26 January 2009
Tuesday 20 January 2009
in Deed and in Truth
"By this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth." I John 3:16-18
We talk about social action all the time, about justice and freedom. But talking is easy. What do we do? How shall we live in light of the fact that people who love God (or claim to) must also love His people- and love them with an active love? If I look at my life, I realise that is just what it is: MY life. A lot of what I do is characterized by selfishness, like how I spend my money, my time, my thoughts, my energy. Sure, I will try to take opportunities to be generous with my money or my time, but if I'm honest there is probably a limit as to how far I would go. So long as it doesn't cost me too dearly... I play it safe.
But God doesn't want us to play it safe. John writes that if I claim to live in God, I must walk as Jesus walked- and Jesus lived a life of total sacrifice to others. It's always been about loving God and loving people- because of God's ultimate love. How can I know God's love and then close my heart to brothers and sisters who are in need? I have so much. James says that it's no good claiming to have faith if what we do doesn't back it up. What I have is not mine to hold on tightly to. There are not supposed to be limits on my giving. Is it okay that there are rich Christians in the world? Should I be precious with my time and use it for my glory? And even if I nail both of those things, isn't it even more selfish to have the amazing hope that I do and keep it to myself?
"...When we were done, I started wondering if we had accomplished anything. I started wondering whether we could actually change the world. I mean, of course we could - we could change our buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don't believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts. The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been.
I am the problem.
I think that every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has as moment where he stops blaming the problems of the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principle within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there, the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.
The thing I realized on the day we protested... was that it did me no good to protest America's responsibility in global poverty when I wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry. I started feeling very much like a hypocrite.
More than my questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person? I spend 95 percent of my time thinking about myself anyway. I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM!" Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz
"My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves." 1 John 3:18-20, MSG
Saturday 17 January 2009
Profile of the Obsessed - Crazy Love by Francis Chan
People who are obsessed with Jesus:
- give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back.
- aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.
- live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him.
- are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth. As Martin Luther put, "There are two days on my calendar: this day and that day."
- know that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be 'humble enough', and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known.
- do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people.
- are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that other matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world.
- think about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orientate their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.
- are characterized by a committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.
- are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or their failiures. Obsessed people don't put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace.
- have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that 40 minutes on a Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distractions and alternative messages.
- are more concerned with their own character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God.
- know that the best thing they can do is to be faithful to the Saviour in every aspect of life, continually saying "Thank you!" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if they are always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy. They revel in their role as child and friend of God.
- give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back.
- aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.
- live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him.
- are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth. As Martin Luther put, "There are two days on my calendar: this day and that day."
- know that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be 'humble enough', and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known.
- do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people.
- are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that other matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world.
- think about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orientate their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what is here in front of them.
- are characterized by a committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.
- are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask the ugliness of their sins or their failiures. Obsessed people don't put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace.
- have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that 40 minutes on a Sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole week, especially when they will encounter so many distractions and alternative messages.
- are more concerned with their own character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God.
- know that the best thing they can do is to be faithful to the Saviour in every aspect of life, continually saying "Thank you!" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if they are always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy. They revel in their role as child and friend of God.
Sunday 4 January 2009
Mark Boyle and his year without money...
(from the western daily press)
A year without any money
Friday, November 21, 2008, 14:58
While most people are trying to find ways of cutting down their spending as the credit crunch continues to bite, one man is to embark on the extreme step of surviving for 12 months without any money.
Mark Boyle, an economics graduate and former businessman, hit the headlines earlier this year after he attempted to walk 9,000 miles from Bristol to India relying entirely people's goodwill and generosity.
The 29-year-old took no money or credit cards with him on what he hoped would be a two-year pilgrimage to Gandhi's birthplace of Porbandar.
He began the trip to spread the message of the Freeconomy movement but a month into the trip, he announced he was giving up the challenge after he started to face difficulties as soon as he arrived in France.
At the time he wrote in his internet blog: "Not only did no one speak the language, they also saw us as a bunch of freeloading backpackers, which is the complete opposite of what the pilgrimage is really about.
"We spoke to a few people who were willing to talk and they said that France would not go for this unless we could speak fluent French, which none of us could."
Eight months after returning home, a suitably refreshed Mr Boyle is gearing up to begin his latest challenge of surviving an entire year without the use of cash.
Mr Boyle is the founder of the Freeconomist movement, a group that works on the principle that people should help each other by sharing their physical and emotional skills, without demanding any payment.
He will begin his year-long social experiment on Saturday, November 29, which is also national Buy Nothing Day.
The challenge will be launched with a day of free food in Bristol, with chefs including the BBC's Roadkill chef Fergus the Forager Drennan and the authors of The Self Sufficient-ish Bible, Dave and Andy Hamilton, among those helping out.
Mr Boyle dreams of becoming the ultimate Freeconomist by living completely without money for a year. He aims to achieve this by living off the land and using products that are thrown away by society, and by building relationships with people in his local community and trading skills.
He said: "I've been preparing a lot over the past couple of months, but the challenge will be the things I can't plan for; a broken arm, exhaustion or the worst case scenario, a family bereavement.
"I suspect the most difficult thing will be socialising in a world that revolves around money. I'll be living on a day-to-day basis, hand to mouth, which means I'll never really know where my next meal comes from."
To kick off his year of cash-free living, Mr Boyle is organising a Food for Free Feast will be made completely from foraged, skipped and donated food.
It is free and takes place at Cafe Midnimo, Ashley Road, Bristol, from 4.30pm on Saturday, November 29.
A year without any money
Friday, November 21, 2008, 14:58
While most people are trying to find ways of cutting down their spending as the credit crunch continues to bite, one man is to embark on the extreme step of surviving for 12 months without any money.
Mark Boyle, an economics graduate and former businessman, hit the headlines earlier this year after he attempted to walk 9,000 miles from Bristol to India relying entirely people's goodwill and generosity.
The 29-year-old took no money or credit cards with him on what he hoped would be a two-year pilgrimage to Gandhi's birthplace of Porbandar.
He began the trip to spread the message of the Freeconomy movement but a month into the trip, he announced he was giving up the challenge after he started to face difficulties as soon as he arrived in France.
At the time he wrote in his internet blog: "Not only did no one speak the language, they also saw us as a bunch of freeloading backpackers, which is the complete opposite of what the pilgrimage is really about.
"We spoke to a few people who were willing to talk and they said that France would not go for this unless we could speak fluent French, which none of us could."
Eight months after returning home, a suitably refreshed Mr Boyle is gearing up to begin his latest challenge of surviving an entire year without the use of cash.
Mr Boyle is the founder of the Freeconomist movement, a group that works on the principle that people should help each other by sharing their physical and emotional skills, without demanding any payment.
He will begin his year-long social experiment on Saturday, November 29, which is also national Buy Nothing Day.
The challenge will be launched with a day of free food in Bristol, with chefs including the BBC's Roadkill chef Fergus the Forager Drennan and the authors of The Self Sufficient-ish Bible, Dave and Andy Hamilton, among those helping out.
Mr Boyle dreams of becoming the ultimate Freeconomist by living completely without money for a year. He aims to achieve this by living off the land and using products that are thrown away by society, and by building relationships with people in his local community and trading skills.
He said: "I've been preparing a lot over the past couple of months, but the challenge will be the things I can't plan for; a broken arm, exhaustion or the worst case scenario, a family bereavement.
"I suspect the most difficult thing will be socialising in a world that revolves around money. I'll be living on a day-to-day basis, hand to mouth, which means I'll never really know where my next meal comes from."
To kick off his year of cash-free living, Mr Boyle is organising a Food for Free Feast will be made completely from foraged, skipped and donated food.
It is free and takes place at Cafe Midnimo, Ashley Road, Bristol, from 4.30pm on Saturday, November 29.
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